Finance

Police Report They Still Haven't Found That One Guy Rugging Everyone

"I don't know who Ethereum is or why he's selling rugs but we'll catch this guy."

Reporter Steve

Jul 30, 2023 — 1 min read

Police have today confirmed that they still haven't caught that one guy rugging everyone.

The report noted that the serial rugger often targets vulnerable shitcoiners, whereby the culprit launches derivative tokens in order to cash in on the latest trend or 'meta'. It also stated that they have absolutely no idea who the culprit is but they sure are trying their best to find him.

"I don't know who Ethereum is or why he's selling rugs but we'll catch this guy," the Head of the Shitcoin Taskforce told reporters.

"That's the last time I'm buying NewYearsEve Coin, what a joke. I put in $100 and now I have to wait until next year to sell because it's worth nothing," one victim commented.

Self-proclaimed experts in the crypto community have begun to refer to this shadowy figure as "The Shitcoin Bandit." Rumors spread about a possible rogue AI being the culprit or some dude from Ohio.

"I think he's amazing, an inspiration really. Someone to look up to, ya know." Said one budding shitcoin developer. "I have to hand it to him, he never stops. 24/7, 365 rugging the monthly wages from the average Joe."

Police have said they are going to try and buy every shitcoin they can in an effort to follow the Shitcoin Bandits' movements. Currently, over $5 million has been spent in an effort to trace the suspect.

Members of the public can rest safely knowing that their taxes are being spent well.

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