World
Scientists Believe New Neuralink Prototype Could Give Gary Gensler The Ability To Think
Cautious optimism among leading scientists as early trial data show promising results.
Reporter Steve
The real SnailMoon.
$SNM
SnailMoon Partners with SnailX
Unpopular cryptocurrency project SnailMoon partners with never-before-heard company SnailX.
Local
Local Man Sleeps On Token, Wakes Up In Profit
"I bought some tokens and went to sleep - I didn't do anything special."
World
Gary Gensler Found To Be Rare Variety Of Talking Peanut
Evil scientists succeed in creating a talking peanut to spread FUD about cryptocurrencies.
$SNM
Elon Musk Replies To SnailMoon
He started a space company or something.
Finance
Gary Gensler Protects Investors
After protecting the public from the collapse of FTX and Terra Luna, Gary Gensler has saved the day once again.
$SNM
SnailMoon Doesn't Buy Billboard
The team has decided to not buy 3 weeks of billboard ad space.
Local
Local Man Realizes He's At A Clown Convention
The crypto meet-up was reportedly held in the building next door.
World
Memecoin Devs Rush To Pivot Branding In Wake Of Chinese Meta
Use of the color red is reportedly up 37,000%.
Finance
Crypto Trader Touches Grass
The young(ish) man made the bold step to finally leave his room.
Finance
US Dollar Gets 3/99 Score On DEXTools
Jerome Powell is reportedly furious with the rating.
World
Winnie The Pooh On The Run In China After Trying To Sell $POOH Tokens
Pooh told police on social media that he won't be taken alive.