World
Lizard People Association Distances Itself From Zuckerberg After Twitter Lawsuit
“Hoarding personal data and influencing elections is fine, but stealing IP is something we cannot condone."
Reporter Steve
The real SnailMoon.
World
Crypto Whale Group Wiped Out By Japanese Fishing Vessel
Since the incident, rug pulls and pump & dumps have dropped a staggering 1%.
Finance
Jerome Powell Accidentally Leaves Money Printer On All Weekend
Powell is expected to raise interest rates by 950 basis points to begin to combat the resulting inflation.
Finance
Probably Nothing Revealed To Be Nothing
To add to the holder's disappointment, there wasn't something big coming either.
World
Swing Trader Hits Tree
The unnamed 28-year-old man escaped relatively unscathed.
World
New FBI Desensitization Training Involves Trading Meme Coins For 2 Weeks
Human rights organizations have condemned the new training as barbaric and inhumane.
Finance
Meme Coin Developers Officially Run Out Of Token Names
"How about a shit sequel?"
Local
Local Man Unable To Sleep After Losing $10 On Rug
Friends of the local man tried to warn him that Magic Carpet 2 was most likely a rug.
Finance
r/CryptoCurrency Users Conflicted Over Which Wrong Coin To Back For Next Bull Run
Insiders claim that teams will do whatever they can to ensure their coin doesn't become a favorite of the subreddit.
Local
Local Man Realizes He Shouldn't Have Spent 300K On A Picture Of A Monkey
The BAYC price has seen a sharp decline in recent weeks as holders realized they were just pictures of monkeys.
Finance
Genius Developer Creates Token Named After Thing That Just Happened
World-renowned developer shitoshi strikes gold again.
Local
Local Man Buys Bottom Of The Bear Market
To celebrate, the local man has taken out a loan for a new campervan with his house as collateral.